


even if i make mistakes, baby is it okay?

by orphan_account



Category: GOT7
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, all are different aus, for some reason idk, idk tbh i just wrote them to vent lol, lapslock in the second draft, the third one is a fantasy au while the other two?, tw for suicidal thoughts in the second draft too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2019-07-14
Packaged: 2020-06-28 01:43:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19802158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: two times mark takes care of jaebeom and one time jaebeom returns the favoraka three unrelated drafts i had lying around that i put into one whole work on a whim





	even if i make mistakes, baby is it okay?

**Author's Note:**

> title taken from got7's [믿어줄래](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HWkgaV5SNU4) (stream eclipse and spinning top)
> 
> tw for suicidal thoughts and mentions of depression in the second draft

1.  
  
And oh, he knows. He knows he fucked up right as the words came out of his mouth.  
He hates seeing how Mark’s expression falters at that moment, how the look in his eyes is nothing less than shocked at Jaebeom’s harshness.  
Jaebeom can’t bring himself to speak. The guilt is bubbling up in his throat, threatening to spill. He thinks he’s going to vomit right then and there.

They stare at each other, and their world becomes grim, grayer, emptier.

Jaebeom barely manages to swallow his overwhelming regret back down into his aching heart and finally opens his dry mouth.

“...M-Mark, I-”  
“No. It’s fine. I know you didn’t mean it.” Mark tries to smile, but the weariness in his usually bright eyes only hurts Jaebeom more.  
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you,” Mark apologizes, and Jaebeom hates it. He fucking hates how Mark apologizes for the things he doesn’t do, how he’s too damn nice for his own good to stand up to the people that he loves.

“Stop fucking apologizing for my mistakes!” Jaebeom finally snaps. Mark flinches at Jaebeom’s sudden outburst. Jaebeom sees the hint of fear flashing in Mark’s wide eyes, but he doesn’t care.  
“You realize how awful it makes me feel when you apologize for all the things you’re not responsible for?” he asks bluntly. Mark looks defeated like a kicked puppy and it hurts. It hurts when he loses the control on his anger that he’s worked on for years only to have it crumble upon the person he loved the most.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until Mark reaches up and wipes his tears away with his thumb, giving him a small, but sad smile. His anger is beginning to subside, so he doesn’t shy away from Mark’s gentle touch.

It’s funny. He was the one who hurt Mark in the first place, and yet it was Mark who was comforting him. The guilt gets caught in his throat again and makes his heart painfully heavier.

Before he knows it, he’s holding Mark close, wrapping his arms around Mark’s shoulders as he starts crying again. He can’t bring himself to say that he’s sorry, but he’s sure that Mark understands when he soothingly rubs Jaebeom’s back in silence. They stand there in each other’s embrace for what feels like hours before Jaebeom finally manages to force out his thoughts.

“...Sorry for being so fucked up,” he finally chokes out weakly, hating how vulnerable he sounds in Mark’s arms.  
  
“It’s okay, I know things have been hard for you lately. We’ll talk about it tomorrow.”

2.

he’s lying on his bed and staring at his phone blankly, too drained to get up and hop into the shower to freshen himself up. the light breeze from the fan beside him isn’t enough to blow away the thoughts of hopelessness that fester in his tired mind.

jaebeom wants to sleep. he wants to close his eyes and be whisked away to a place where he doesn’t have to worry about his future, something he’s avoided facing for years. he wonders if there’s anything, anything promising that lays in his path at all. yet at the same time, he wishes he was dead.

he briefly considers ending it all by throwing himself out the window at that moment, and he almost goes along with that fleeting thought, until an image of mark tuan appears in his mind; sweet, lovely mark who’s been the light of his life for as long as he can remember.

suddenly, he remembers that he hasn’t responded to mark’s texts from this morning. his eyes flicker to the top of the screen. it’s nine past twelve am. he feels a dull pang of guilt in the midst of his apathy, and he quickly opens his chat with mark in the messaging app to read mark’s texts.

mark [09:34]: hey beommie!

mark [09:34]: im free today and i was wondering if u wanted to grab lunch later?

mark [09:35]: we can go to that korean place u rlly like

mark [09:36]: its cool if u cant tho, we can go another time :)

mark [14:21]: hey, i’m worried about you man

mark [14:22]: it’s been hours and you haven’t read or replied to my texts

mark [15:22]: i’m sorry if i did something wrong

mark [15:23]: if you need anything you can call me or come over

mark [17:35]: i hope you’re okay

that dull ache returns and jaebeom feels absolutely guilty for being too tired to respond to mark.

jb [00:13]: hey

jb [00:14]: sorry for not replying, been tired today

jb [00:16]: sorry for making you worry mark

jaebeom’s heart flutters a little when the three dots suddenly appear on the screen and soon afterwards comes mark’s reply.

mark [00:17]: you apologize too much

mark [00:17]: it’s ok, it’s not your fault

mark [00:18]: did you eat anything today?

jb [00:19]: not rlly

jb [00:19]: been in bed all day tbh

jb [00:20]: not rlly hungry tho

mark’s reply comes comedically quick, making jaebeom chuckle for the first time today.

mark [00:20]: beommie u gotta eat something

mark [00:20]: im gonna drive over to ur house if you dont get out of bed >:(

jb [00:21]: haha good thing i’m feeling better rn

jb [00:21]: gonna get some chips or something

mark [00:22]: chips are better than nothing

jaebeom pushes himself off of the bed, a bit disoriented from the mix of sleeping and dissociation as he comes out of his room for the first time today. true to his word, he snags a bag of chips from the pantry and carries it to the table, the chips satisfyingly crunchy after a whole day of not eating as he texts mark.

jb [00:26]: ok but why are you still up tho?

mark [00:27]: i was worried abt u beommie

mark [00:27]: i was scared youd do something and ive kinda been restless ig

jaebeom feels that pang of guilt again, only stronger this time.

jb [00:28]: i’m sorry for making you worry mark

mark [00:28]: nooo dont apologize :((

mark [00:29]: i care a lot abt u beommie

mark [00:29]: i know it gets hard sometimes and i want u to have someone who cares ykno?

jb [00:30]: yea but

jb [00:30]: i don’t want your entire life to start revolving around me

jb [00:31]: i’d feel bad if you have to make time for me

mark [00:32]: im not that dumb lol its chill

mark [00:32]: dont worry abt it too much beommie

mark [00:33]: just shoot me a text if ur feeling bad

mark [00:33]: i can come over if u want me to

mark [00:33]: we can just chill, we dont have to do anything big if ur not up to it :)

jb [00:34]: thank you

jb [00:34]: really, thanks a lot for talking to me and looking out for me

jb [00:35]: it really means a lot

mark [00:35]: i’m glad it does :)

jb [00:36]: you should go to bed now tho

mark [00:36]: aww man :(

mark [00:37]: only if u go to bed too ;)

jb [00:37]: i’ve been in bed all day lol

jb [00:37]: but yeah, i’ll go to bed too

jb [00:37]: night

mark [00:37]: night :)

jaebeom feels lighter, more content after talking to mark. he’s really glad he has mark in his life, because if it weren’t for him, jaebeom really wouldn’t have been alive as long as he has been. while setting his phone on the nightstand and pulling himself under the covers, he makes a mental note to shower in the morning if he’s feeling okay. as he drifts off to sleep, he vaguely remembers thinking about how he should get back to mark on his offer for lunch as he slips into a peaceful slumber.  
  
  
3.

Mark finds himself sitting under that familiar tree outside of the town, tears threatening to spill from his trembling eyes. He knows that it’s his fault for being so easily annoyed when he isn’t taken seriously, yet he’s irritated anyway.  
I’m such an idiot, he thinks angrily to himself, hugging his knees tightly as he tries not to cry. As he loses himself in his thoughts, he barely registers the rustling of grass getting louder and closer.

“Mark? What’s wrong?” a soft tenor voice asks above him.  
Mark’s gaze snaps up from his feet, quickly registering the blurry physique of his beloved friend.  
“Beommie…” he murmurs, the nickname rolling off his tongue easily from years of being uttered.

The two find themselves sitting beside each other under the tree, Mark ranting about his frustrations as Jaebeom listens attentively, occasionally humming to let Mark know that he’s paying attention. Mark likes that about Jaebeom; he likes that Jaebeom is a good listener and doesn’t treat him like a child, despite the fact that Mark tends to act younger than his age.

He tells Jaebeom about the dream, how he’s had the same dream for as long as he can remember and how he thinks, no, knows that it means something, but he just can’t figure it out.  
Jaebeom doesn’t laugh; he hums and lets Mark speak before voicing his thoughts.

“Do you remember when the person started speaking to you?” he asks.  
Mark thinks hard, trying to recall when the change could have occurred.  
“...I think… maybe when… hmm…” Mark pouts in frustration, “Ah, this is so hard!”  
Jaebeom laughs, a lovely rare sound that’s music to Mark’s ears.  
“Don’t laugh!” he whines, which only makes Jaebeom laugh harder. Mark wishes he could be mad at him, but he can never stay mad at Jaebeom when he has the nicest smile Mark’s ever seen and the most warm laughter Mark thinks he’s ever heard from a person.

The two eventually settle down into a comfortable silence, with the only noises surrounding them being the quiet breeze and the light rustle of the leaves hanging above them. Mark lays his head on Jaebeom’s shoulder, and upon noting that Jaebeom doesn’t flinch at the sudden contact like he did in the past, Mark says nothing.  
“I’m sorry you have to listen to me rant about dumb stuff,” he apologizes after a bit.  
“You apologize too much. I want you to have someone you can talk to instead of bottling up your emotions all the time,” Jaebeom says, “Plus, you listen to me talk about the same things over and over all the time. I want to return your kindness since you’ve always been so nice to me.”  
Mark giggles shyly, finding Jaebeom’s words endearing, “You make me sound like an angel or something. I’m just doing what a friend would do.”  
“You’re a good friend, then.”

Mark turns his head to find Jaebeom gently smiling down at him. His eyes are scrunched a bit, making them look almost like two crescent moons. He notices how unkempt Jaebeom’s hair is, making him look boyish in contrast to his mature personality, and how his signature twin moles above his right eye are poking out from under his messy hair. The sun is hitting him at just the right angle that makes him glow dreamily, as if he was nothing less than an angel that Mark had been blessed to meet.  
  
Mark thinks he feels his heart flutter.

**Author's Note:**

> it's 4 am but yeah this is a thing now apparently  
> the first two drafts were pretty much vent fics but the third one is part of an upcoming fic! it'll probably be different from what the actual fic will look like (because i'm never satisfied with my writing lol) but i guess it's something to look forward to haha
> 
> thanks to [@mujatuan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mujatuan/pseuds/mujatuan) for giving me the idea to do this since she wanted me to post these (even if they're bad) <3


End file.
